Pondering: Japanese Female Roles:
Something I have been struck by while here is the role of Japanese women both in and out of the workplace. Women here are constantly serving the men and always serving them first before they serve themselves. When I work at the BOE on Fridays, Chiaki, the youngest of the women in my dept will serve coffee or tea to everyone about 5 times a day. Green tea in the morning, coffee next, then iced tea or iced coffee a couple times after lunch. If Chiaki is out or it has been a while, sometimes Toshiko, the older more experienced woman in the office will serve us all, as well. When passing out the drinks, or small snacks, the person with the position of greatest authority must be served first, and it goes down the line from there. When a group of patrons or visitors come into the workplace either at school (principals office) or the Board of Education (hereafter called “BOE”), one of the females, preferably the youngest will immediately get up and make iced tea, coffee or green tea to the whole group. If it is an important meeting with clients, no one says thanks because they are occupied with talking and that’s just expected, when serving colleagues in the office, often a quick “thank you” is offered. I’m amazed that this service happens so quietly and naturally. I’ve wondered, how do the women decide who is going to be served? I think it usually falls to the youngest, however, when there are a lot of clients, I’ve seen the older, more experienced female step up to the challenge. I also have wondered if there is any resentment by the women? But I don’t think the subject could ever be breached and if I did bring up such a subject, I imagine that 1. I’d receive a blank stare in the sense that the interviewee would be thinking, “What? The thought never crosses my mind, that’s just how it works here in Japan.” or 2. I would get a sugar coated answer as to avoid the subject altogether. But, do the women like it? Do they notice it? Do they meet behind closed doors and say: “Where’s the Women’s Rights?! Let’s rise up! Stop the sexism! Stop the insanity!” If I’m any judge of character, I HONESTLY think they don’t mind, and it’s not even a question of unfairness- it’s just normal! The way things work. And I even think it is such a part of the Japanese culture that the women feel a sense of pleasure in this service. I need to mention here that this happens at meals, too, and enkais, or work drinking parties- the women serve the men food and beer and then disappear to undisclosed locations. A couple women might reappear every 10 minutes to open more beer bottles, take away the empties, bring out more food, etc… Aren’t they starving and just want to eat first sometimes? Don’t they want to sit and enjoy the conversations with their husbands? Why should the men have all the fun? I never see the women smoking or drinking or living it up! Maybe they are having their secret fun and I really just don’t see it. I’m sure there are layers of complexity that I’m not even aware of. I don’t think this way of life in Japan is a bad, negative thing, personally, it’s just different. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m all for equality, but I could see some Western women really taking offense to this, and I’ve heard first hand accounts of other JETs being offended by this custom. But really, I think this is just taking a different custom and way of life, and making it a personal struggle, you know? Is it our place to impose our Western ways on a culture that is thousands of years older than our own? I think not! How presumptuous of us, I say. How can we judge a custom in a culture that we don’t even understand? I say “When in Rome… don’t compare apples and oranges!”